| This will be my last post here... |
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| 06:28pm 22/08/2005 |
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mood:  crushed
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This is my last post in this journal. so much has changed. people have left. i guess all good things must come to an end. and this is y ending as far as some of you are conserned. sorry if it is not as happy as a fairy tale but life is no fairy tale as most of us have regetably learned.i have some things to say...
Matt Jarvis: this is my final good bye. i am sorry for everything. it is time i let go of this friendship that let go of me long ago.
Cat: thank you for everything. i will add you to my journal only if you want. you have been there for me when no one else was and i love you to death but i will not pull you down anymore. i am sorry for the worry i caused.
Amy Elizabeth Young:  Does this mean nothing any more.YOu left just like matt but you did it a while ago. you hurt chris when you left for people at your school and left him there. then all this stuff happened and you left me. you once said you would never give up on me but i guess i cant blame you. i will never forget you amy. i will always love ya.
" it well may be
that will never meet again
in this lifetime
so let me say before we part
so much of me is made of what i learned from you
you'll be with me
like a hand print on my heart
And know what ever way our stories end
i know you have rewitten mine
by being my friend.
and just to clear the air
i ask forgiveness
for the things i've done
you blame me for"
Good-bye big sister. i will always love you.
Christopher Angel Khoshghadami: i guess we are back to the three musketeers...love ya dude....coughstorytimecough:)
Robin C. Ellison: dont ever doubt my love for you, we can get through anything i know it.
Scott Martinez and Sammi Rose: you have also changed and to that i have no clue why but if you ever figure out who you were let me know...till then sorry dudes...
Lauren Kempster: you have helped me so much. thanx for the prayers and advise. but i must leave you hee. i will still chat on aim wit ya but if i ad you then matt is still in my life and i just have to forget about him.
Kathleen (the brown one)Thank you for being there. love ya
If your name was not mentioned on this ist you were probly automatically addedbutt if you weren't it was only cuz we never talked anyways.
good-bye
cb |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 07:40pm 19/07/2005 |
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mood:  content
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I think things are going to be ok....which for those of you who have known me for the last 6 1/2 months, you guys know that that is an awsome improvment....
lol
i love y'all...
cb♥ |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| I know this is out of no where... |
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| 12:40am 05/07/2005 |
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mood:  accomplished
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I know that to some people on my friends list this will not make since. To those people, dont worry because most likly, this does not apply to you. i know i still have to update about plunge and pride but this must be done first. i came back from plunge a different person. and it is time i change somethings.
The last few months, i have been fighting an extremely hard battle(not to sound like i ripped that line from robin)all alone. it has brought to the line between life and death. to those of you who dont know, i will start from the begining...
Back in january i lost a great friend. her name was Jennifer Lynn Ciani. From then on everything just went down hill. It was hard because most of us had never had to deal with a friend's suicide before. Well the next couple of months after were even worse. i almost lost another friend to suicide and one of my other friend began to hurt himself too. it got to the point that i could not handle it so i attempted to end my life several times but thanks to friends and a lot of prayers i am still here.
then i went on urban plunge. that was the best thing ever.it was like the point in my life were everything began to turn from bad to good. what happened was i got into a fight with chris thurseday night. i was just so upset that i could not help but think that this was the final straw. i remember taking off my belt andtelling kathleen to tell chris that i was going to take care of our problems. well i was up abave the stage and cat came after me. she screamed at me for about thirty minutes but i am glad.
ever since i came home from plunge i see what i need to change in my life.
sarah scruby and andrea magsambol- i love you guys. you have stuck by me through thick and thin and i do charish that.
Cat- this may sound wierd but i want to thank you again for what you did. i think that it was the best thing you could have ever done for me. and dont worry, as hard as it is for me to admit, i am going to get some help. i love you and i know now that i donot have to fight this battle alone.
Amy- you have done so much for me in the short time we have known each other. for the last six months since we met, you have been there for me. you have saved my life and refused to let me give up. i hope that one day i can return the favor and be there when you need me. you see, it is ok to be sad. you do not have to be happy and bottle things up anymore. for months you have been a rock for me to fall on. now that things are better for me...let me be that rock for you when you need me. i love ya kid.
Robin- i love you and miss you so much. i just want to thank you for sticking with me and not giving up on me. things have been hard for both of us these 6 months but the important thing is that we are here and we are living proof that though it may be dark and cloudy, the sun will still shine again. I think i can climb down from that bridge now, are you coming too?
Chris- i honestly dont know how to say the feelings i need to express to you. i love you chris. we have been through so much but without you i would not be typing this to you today. we are proof that the roots of friendship run deeper than we know. we have lied to each other, screamed at each other and done somethings we are not proud of but we still remain friends. i love that and that proves inner strength on bothour parts. thank you so much for all you have done for me. i will always love ya bud....uhuhuhuhuhuh!
Lauren Kempster- as odd as this may seem you are one of the people i choose to keep in my life. your prayers have kept me alive and your advice made me open my eyes to thing i didn't want to see. i have found god this last week and so much mare...thank you.
Matt Jarvis- since you left things hve gotten so hard. it is like i was about to fall deeper into this endless dark hole and you were the only thing saving me, then out of no where you let go. i fell flat to the bottem and surprisingly you were not one of the people that help me learn to stand on my own feet again. instead i found cat, chris, and amy there waiting for me. i had a dream the night that cat yelled at me that jenn was telling me that this was not the way to solve my problems. so i to a long look at my life and realized what i need to do. good- bye matt. i wish you happiness on your knew path in life. sfrom your former little sister, i am through crying over you.
to any of the 41 people i went on plunge with- thank you for opening my eyes to what i was doing. love and miss ya guys...
so this is what i had to say to all of you. take it as you may
cb |
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Read 9 - Post |
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| 02:44pm 24/05/2005 |
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1. Take the list and post it into your own livejournal (as opposed to someone else's livejournal, duh), marking movies you've seen with an X, and removing X's if you haven't seen an already marked one.
2. Add five more movies to the end of the list. The meme must be fed!
3. Count how many X's you have. If you've seen more than 70 movies, you are a "Movie Whore".
1. (x) Napoleon Dynamite
2. (X) Saw
3. (X) White Noise
4. ( ) White Oleander
5. (x) Anger Management
6. (x) 50 First Dates
7. (x) Jason X
8. (x) Scream
9. (x) Scream 2
10. (x) Scream 3
11. (x) Scary Movie
12. (x) Scary Movie 2
13. (x) Scary Movie 3
14. (x) American Pie
15. (x) American Pie 2
16. (x) American Wedding
17. (x) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
18. (x) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
19. (x) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
20. (x) Resident Evil
21. (x) Resident Evil: Apocalypse
22. (x) The Wedding Singer
23. (x Little Black Book
24. (x) The Village
25. ( ) Donnie Darko
26. (x) Lilo & Stitch
27. (x) Finding Nemo
28. (x Finding Neverland
29. (x) 13 Ghosts
30. (x) Signs
31. (x) The Grinch
32. (x)Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The Original)
33. (x) White Chicks
34. (x) Butterfly Effect
35. (x) Thirteen Going On 30
36. (x I, Robot
37. (x Dodgeball
38. ( ) Universal Soldier
39. (x A Series of Unfortunate Events
40. (x Along Came A Spider
41. ( ) Deep Impact
42. ( ) Kingpin
43. (x) Never Been Kissed
44. (x) Meet the Parents
45. (x Meet The Fockers
46. (x) Eight Crazy Nights
47. (x) A Cinderella Story
48. (x The Terminal
49. ( The Lizzie McGuire Movie
50. (x) Passport to Paris
51. (x) Dumb & Dumber
52. (x) Dumb & Dumberer
53. (x) Final Destination
54. (x) Final Destination 2
55. ( x Halloween
56. (x Halloween 2
57. ( ) Halloween 3
58. ( ) Halloween 4
59. ( ) Halloween 5
60. ( ) H20
61. (x Halloween: The Resurrection
62. (x) The Ring (or Ringu)
63. ( ) The Ring 2
64. ( ) Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
65. (x) Practical Magic
66. (x) Chicago
67. (x Ghost Ship
68. (x From Hell
69. ( ) Team America
70. (x Hellboy
71. (x) Secret Window
72. (x) I Am Sam
73. (x The Whole Nine Yards
74. (x The Day After Tomorrow
75. ( ) Child's Play
76. ( ) Bride of Chucky
77. (x) Ten Things I Hate About You
78. (x) Just Married
79. (x) Gothika
80. ( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
81. ( x) Sixteen Candles
82. (x) Bad Boys 2
83. ( x Joy Ride
84. ( ) Seven
85. (x ) Oceans Eleven
86. (x) Oceans Twelve
87. ( x) Identity
88. ( ) Lone Star
89. (x) Bedazzled
90. ( ) Predator
91. ( ) Predator II
92. (x) Independence Day
93. ( ) Cujo
94. ( ) A Bronx Tale
95. (x) Darkness Falls
96. ( ) Christine
97. (x) ET
98. ( ) Children of the Corn
99. (x) My Boss' Daughter
100. (x) Maid in Manhattan
101. ( ) Frailty
102. ( ) Best Bet
103. (x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
104. (x) She's All That
105. (x) Calendar Girls
106. ( x Sideways
107. (x) Mars Attacks
108. ( ) Event Horizon
109. ( ) Ever After
110. (x) Forrest Gump
112. ( ) Big Trouble in Little China
113. (x) X-Men
114. (x) X2
115. (x Jeepers Creepers
116. ( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
117. (x) Catch Me If You Can
118. ( x) The Others
119. (x) Freaky Friday (Either, or both.)
120. ( x Reign of Fire
121. ( x) Man on Fire
122. (x) Braveheart
123. (x) Cruel Intentions
124. (x) The Hot Chick
125. (x) Swimfan
126. ( ) Miracle
127. ( x Friday Night Lights
128. (x) Old School
129. (x ) Ray
130. (x) The Notebook
131. (x) K-Pax
132. (x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
133. (x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
134. (x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
135. (x) A Walk to Remember
136. (x) Sweet Home Alabama
137. (x) Moulin Rouge
138. (x ) Boogeyman
139. ( ) Hitch
140. ( ) Back Door Sluts 9
141. (x) The Fifth Element
142. (x) Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
143. (x ) Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
144. ( ) Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
145. ( ) Star Wars: Episode V - Empire Strikes Back
146. ( ) Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
147. ( ) Troop Beverly Hills
148. ( ) Swimming with Sharks
149. ( ) Trainspotting
150. ( ) People Under the Stairs
151. ( ) Blue Velvet
152. (x) The Sound of Music
153. (x) Parent Trap (Either, or both.)
154. ( ) The Burbs
155. ( ) SLC Punk
156. (x) Meet Joe Black
157. ( ) Wild Girls
158. ( ) A Clockwork Orange
159. ( ) The Order
160. (x) Spiderman
161. (x) Spiderman 2
162. ( ) Amelie
163. (x) Mean Girls
164. (x) Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
165. (x) Shrek
166. (x) Shrek 2
167. ( ) The Incredibles
168. ( ) Collateral
169. (x) The Fast and the Furious
170. (x) 2 Fast 2 Furious
171. ( ) Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow
172. ( ) Closer
173. (x) The Sixth Sense
174. (x) Artificial intelligence
175. (x) Love Actually
176. (x) The Sweetest Thing
177. ( ) Shutter
178. ( ) Ella Enchanted
179. (x) The Princess Diaries
180. (x) The Princess Diaries 2
181. (x) Breakfast Club
182. (x) October Sky
183. (x) Remember the Titans
184. (x) Titanic
185. ( ) Boondock Saints
186. ( ) American History X
187. (x ) Fight Club
188. ( ) Heavenly creatures
189. ( ) Stealing Beauty
190. ( ) Like Water For Chocolate
191. ( ) Powwow Highway
192. (x) Secretary
193. (x) But I'm A Cheerleader
194. ( ) I <3 Huckabees
195. ( ) Ripley's Game
196. ( ) Coffee And Cigarettes
197. ( ) Taxi Driver
198. (x) The Silence Of The Lambs
199. (x) The Exorcist
200. ( ) If Lucy Fell
201. ( ) Lady Jane
201. ( ) When Harry Met Sally
202. (x) Me, Myself & Irene
203. ( ) Kung Fu Hustle
204. (x ) Sin City
205. (x) Labyrinth
206. ( ) Much Ado About Nothing
207. ( ) The Cowboy Way
208. ( ) Paulie
209. ( ) Blazing Saddles
210. (x ) Galaxy Quest
211. ( ) Guildenstern and Rosencrantz are Dead
212. ( ) Citizen Kane
213. ( ) You Can Count on Me
214. ( ) Young Frankenstein
215. (x) Raiders of the Lost Ark
216. ( ) Starman
217. (x) St. Elmo's Fire
218. (x) Coyote Ugly
219. ( ) The Other Sister
220. (x Rainman
221. ( ) Little Shop of Horrors
222. (x) Chasing Amy
223. ( ) House of Sand and Fog
224. ( ) Mildred Pierce
225. ( ) The Big Lebowski
226. ( ) Last House on the Left
227. ( ) Ichi the Killer
228. ( ) Girl, Interrupted
229. ( ) Organ
230. ( ) Mordrum
231. ( ) Earthsea
232. (x ) Erin Brockovitch
233. ( ) Party Monster
234. ( ) The Last Unicorn
235. ( ) Willow
236. (x) Pay it Forward
237. (x) 40 Days and 40 Nights
238. (x) Bridgets Jones' Diary
239. ( ) Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
240. (x) Bicentennial Man
241. ( ) Arlington Road
242. ( ) Better than Chocolate
243. (x) Monster
244. ( ) Renaissance Man
245. ( ) Waiting for Guffman
246. ( ) The United States of Leland
247. ( ) Beaches
248. ( ) House of Wax (goddamned horrible movie)
249. ( ) Far and Away
250. ( ) Gidget
251. ( ) Gidget Goes to Hawaii
252. ( ) Gidget Goes to Rome
253. ( ) Gidget's Summer Reunion
254. ( ) Breakfast at Tiffany's
255. ( ) Sabrina
256. ( ) My Fair Lady
257. ( ) Roman Holiday
258. (x) Huck Finn
259. ( ) The Scarlet Letter
260. (x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
261. ( ) Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
262. ( ) Monty Python's Life of Brian
263. ( ) Monty Python's "And Now For Something Completely Different"
264. ( ) The Truth About Jane
265. (x) Pearl Harbor
266. ( ) Urban Cowboy
267. (x) Escape from Witch Mountain
268. ( ) The Flight of the Navigator
269. (x The Truth about Cats and Dogs
270. (x) Walt Disney presents Robin Hood
271. (x) The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones
272. (x The Princess Bride
273. (x) Left Behind
274. ( ) Tribulation Force
275. ( ) Brave New World
276. (x) Duck Tales: Treasure of the Lost Lamp
277. (x) American Beauty
278. ( ) Being John Malkovich
279. ( ) Brokedown Palace
280. (x Death to Smoochy
281. ( ) Disturbing Behavior
282. (x) Hannibal
283. ( ) Igby Goes Down
284. ( ) Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
285. ( x) Office Space
286. ( ) The Virgin Suicides
287. ( ) What Dreams May Come
288. ( ) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (BBC Version)
289. ( ) The Royal Tenenbaums
290. ( ) A Midsummer Night's Dream
291. (x) Spaceballs
292. () Eurotrip
293. (x ) National Treasure
294. ( ) Drop Dead Gorgeous
295. (x ) Dirty Dancing
296. (x ) Farhenheit 9/11
297. () Passion of the Christ
298. (x ) Milo and Otis
299. ( ) Y tu Mama Tambien
300. ( x) In Good Company
301. ( x) Dirty Dancing Havana Nights
302. (x) Rock A Doodle
303. (x ) Footloose
304. (x) Grease
305. (x) Grease 2
306. ( ) The Red Violin
307. (x ) Guys and Dolls
308. (x) The Waterboy
309. ( ) The Quiet man
310. (x) McLintock
311. (x) Donnie Brasco
312. ( ) Kung Pow:Enter the Fist
313. ( ) Ten Heads In A Dufflebag
314. ( ) Demolition Man
315. ( Don Juan DeMarco
Thats alot of movies!! |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 03:45pm 30/03/2005 |
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mood:  life is just wierd
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Ironic
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think?
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face
A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think...
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| 03:44pm 30/03/2005 |
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mood:  optimistic
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Walk On
Oh ain't life wonderful
When everything is right
But sometimes wonderful
Can fall apart sometimes
When your troubles knock you down
Pick yourself up off the ground and
Walk on
Walk on
Nothing ever stays wrong that long
Walk on
Oh walk on
Don't just stand there in the storm
Walk toward the light till you find the sun
And you'll be better off in the long run
And walk on
Oh it's a heartache when love comes to an end
But even though your heart breaks
You know it's gonna mend
Keep the faith right through goodbye
And don't you ever break your stride
Walk on
Walk on
Nothing ever stays wrong that long
Walk on
Oh walk on
Don't just stand there in the storm
Walk toward the light till you find the sun
And you'll be better off in the long run
And walk on
Walk on
Walk on |
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Post |
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| enough said... |
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| 06:06pm 22/03/2005 |
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mood:  lonely music: nowhere is safe
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This Used To Be My Playground
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Chorus (first time without background vocals):
This used to be my playground [used to be]
This used to be my childhood dream
This used to be the place I ran to
Whenever I was in need
Of a friend
Why did it have to end
And why do they always say
Don't look back
Keep your head held high
Don't ask them why
Because life is short
And before you know
You're feeling old
And your heart is breaking
Don't hold on to the past
Well that's too much to ask
(Long and movie versions only:)
(chorus)
Live and learn
Well the years they flew
And we never knew
We were foolish then
We would never tire
And that little fire
Is still alive in me
It will never go away
Can't say goodbye to yesterday [can't say goodbye]
(chorus)
No regrets
But I wish that you
Were here with me
Well then there's hope yet
I can see your face
In our secret place
You're not just a memory
Say goodbye to yesterday [the dream]
Those are words I'll never say [I'll never say]
This used to be my playground [used to be]
This used to be our pride and joy
This used to be the place we ran to
That no one in the world could dare destroy
(Short and movie versions only:)
This used to be our playground [used to be]
This used to be our childhood dream
This used to be the place we ran to
I wish you were standing here with me |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| pretty cool |
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| 06:04am 22/03/2005 |
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lj user="broken_spaz"> told me that ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) baybeebunny1 told gravity_girl_89 and punkymonkey214 that I got caught talking to braindamage16 and backstabbing kittyrocker929. Yeah right! And yeah. You might guess I don't give a flying f*** what they think anymore. I'm over that.
And also I was supposed to get together with folks Monday but I don't want to anymore. I'm so tired of seeing the same people.
Oh yeah. poolgurlie added another meme to their journal. GOD I HATE THAT!!!1!one!
This entry automatically generated by the LJ Drama Generator! |
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| 04:32pm 16/02/2005 |
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mood:  devious
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 | You scored as A Too Kinky Faerie. *Wolf Whistle* Here comes the beautiful faerie love machine! You like all things sexy and think its not just a method of reproduction but an art, and a fun one at that! Also, you rather relationships don't last too long. Your pretty flirty and love having a laugh and getting to know people but be careful who you seduce, you don't want to break anyones heart really. Or do you? ;-)
See All Results/Comment
A Too Kinky Faerie | | 85% | A Too Depressed Faerie | | 80% | A Too Sporty Faerie | | 65% | A Too Serious Faerie | | 65% | A Too Evil Faerie | | 60% | A Too Lazy Faerie | | 45% | A Too Astral Faerie | | 35% | A Too Sweet Faerie | | 30% | A Too Silly Faerie | | 20% | </td>
Which Dysfunctional Faerie are You?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| ok |
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| 12:06pm 05/02/2005 |
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mood: devious
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If there is someone on your friends list you would like to take, strip naked, tie them to a bed post, lick them until they scream, then fuck them until both of you are senseless and unable to fuck anymore, then wait about five minutes and do it all over again, then post this exact sentence in YOUR journal. |
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| 05:15pm 30/01/2005 |
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mood:  jubilant music: Slipnot-"Vermillion"
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Fear cannot touch me...
It can only taunt me,
it cannot take me,
just tell me
where to go...
I can either follow,
or stay in my bed...
I can hold on to the
things i know...
The dead stay dead,
the cannot walk.
The shadows are darkness.
And darkness cant talk.
- Christopher Rice
What do you think?
cb |
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